It's hard to type when you don't have hands
Tiffany was very tired from the Norman Mailer symposium weekend, so I've decided to help her out by typing an entry for her. She gives me food every day, and sometimes slices of American cheese (I LOVE American cheese), so I figured I owed her as much.
Anyway, you may be wondering who I am. Well, I am Asian in descent- Siamese, more specifically. I have lovely blue eyes, glossy dark hair, and sharp, white fangs. I am beautiful. If you were to meet me, you would love me instantly. I'm just that adorable. And I help Tiffany out all the time. Sometimes, when she is too lazy to get out of bed and go to class, I jump on her face and massage it with my claws. That usually helps to get her out and about. I'm very helpful.
You know, I don't know much about network technology. I mean, the only websites I really visit are the ones where I can ogle attractive members of the opposite sex. I also like webpages filled with hilarious jokes like this one. I tried to get on facebook.com the other day, but apparently it's not open to people of "my sort." Hmph.
On another note, I don't really know why you people are so obsessed with the latest and greatest technologies which really only seem to drive you further apart, when ideally the opposite is the goal. I mean, I must have been sleeping when the 2-4 line text message replaced an actual conversation (although granted I sleep about 15 hours a day). Tiffany is home way too often now, typing into little white boxes instead of going out and talking to her friends. She's always around, which leaves me very little time to rip up the sofa with my mighty claws.
Even Tiffany, who I generally hold in high regard, is dumb sometimes when it comes to the internet- she trusted a quack health website to tell her what "natural remedies" to try for my embarassing "can't find the bathroom in time" problem instead of actually taking me to the doctor. So poor me just got worse and worse until she broke down and shelled out the fifty bucks for some medicine at the doctor's. I blame her, and I clawed her peaceful sleeping face extra good the other day to get even.
Well I must get back to sleep, I'm exhausted now and I really just want some American cheese and a nap in my bed. I love being me.
Purrs,
Tabitha
Anyway, you may be wondering who I am. Well, I am Asian in descent- Siamese, more specifically. I have lovely blue eyes, glossy dark hair, and sharp, white fangs. I am beautiful. If you were to meet me, you would love me instantly. I'm just that adorable. And I help Tiffany out all the time. Sometimes, when she is too lazy to get out of bed and go to class, I jump on her face and massage it with my claws. That usually helps to get her out and about. I'm very helpful.
You know, I don't know much about network technology. I mean, the only websites I really visit are the ones where I can ogle attractive members of the opposite sex. I also like webpages filled with hilarious jokes like this one. I tried to get on facebook.com the other day, but apparently it's not open to people of "my sort." Hmph.
On another note, I don't really know why you people are so obsessed with the latest and greatest technologies which really only seem to drive you further apart, when ideally the opposite is the goal. I mean, I must have been sleeping when the 2-4 line text message replaced an actual conversation (although granted I sleep about 15 hours a day). Tiffany is home way too often now, typing into little white boxes instead of going out and talking to her friends. She's always around, which leaves me very little time to rip up the sofa with my mighty claws.
Even Tiffany, who I generally hold in high regard, is dumb sometimes when it comes to the internet- she trusted a quack health website to tell her what "natural remedies" to try for my embarassing "can't find the bathroom in time" problem instead of actually taking me to the doctor. So poor me just got worse and worse until she broke down and shelled out the fifty bucks for some medicine at the doctor's. I blame her, and I clawed her peaceful sleeping face extra good the other day to get even.
Well I must get back to sleep, I'm exhausted now and I really just want some American cheese and a nap in my bed. I love being me.
Purrs,
Tabitha
posted by Tiffany Shropshire at 2:23 AM
2 Comments:
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